I Wanted A Miracle, But God Didn’t Give It To Me

God doesn’t always work things out the way we would like Him to, but He is always faithful, loving and working things out for our good. 

I keep thinking about that truth today because my dad just gave us the news that my grandma passed away. And I have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude to God for being so kind to me. I know that probably doesn’t make sense, so let me explain. 

Yesterday, my dad had texted that my grandma wasn’t doing well. Her health had been declining for the past year but she suddenly couldn’t walk and didn’t want to eat. I called him to see if I should go visit her. My dad is very positive and he always wants to speak life over situations, so he wasn’t flat out telling me that it could very well be the last time we would be able to see her on this side of Heaven. So I read between the lines and I felt God nudging me to just go. 

When I got to my grandma’s house, she was in and out. But I got to sit with her and hold her hand. I was able to give her a kiss on her head and tell her that I loved her a few times. And before I left later that night, she had enough clarity to tell me she loved me too. She passed away just a few hours after I left.

On my dad’s side, I have a lot of cousins that my grandma had to split her time with and she always lived just far enough away for me to not see her as much as I would have liked. So on my way to her house last night of course what I wanted was to have more time. Another chance for us to get together and share life stories. I would have wanted God to perform a miracle in her body

But even though God didn’t work it out the way I would have wanted Him to  – He was so incredibly kind to me. He gave me the opportunity to sit with her and say goodbye. He allowed me to tell her that I loved her and He was so good to me to let me have the closure that He knew I would so desperately have wanted. 

And that’s how I know that God is good

Even in circumstances that aren’t good, even in really uncomfortable situations, even in moments of grief  – God is good. And He’s always thinking about us.

My grandma was chattering a lot and I couldn’t understand everything she was saying but I so clearly heard her say, “I’m not afraid!” And now I understand what she was talking about. I feel so certain that God was comforting her in that moment, letting her know that they would be together in Heaven soon and she would have no more pain. And I think she was telling Him that she wasn’t afraid to leave this earthly body behind. 

How sweet is my God to let me witness that moment? He is absolutely a loving Father to us. He knows exactly what we need to hold on to. And while yesterday I was grieving the fact that I never had enough time with my grandma on this side of Heaven, in this moment I’m celebrating the fact that we will have eternity in Heaven together

I know it’s heartbreaking and even frustrating when God doesn’t work things out the way we want Him to. I completely understand that. But I just want to encourage you to look at the situation through His loving eyes so that you too will be able to see how kind He is to you

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles,

    but the Lord delivers him from them all.

Psalm 34:18-19

Kristen James

Midday Show Host, STAR 93.3

READ MORE: How To Spend Eternity In Heaven

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Kristen James


  1. Kathleen Mary Reupert on November 10, 2023 at 5:17 pm

    When my mother passed away from kidney cancer 11 years ago, I asked God not to let her die on April 8, my grandson’s 7th birthday. God answered my prayer, letting her sleep away peacefully on April 7. My family thought I was crazy when I insisted on having Devin’s party on the 8th. They thought I would be too upset but I know my mother was looking down on us and smiling. She always loved a family party! From that day on, I believed that God answers prayers. His answer may not be what we want but He knows what is best for us.

    • Kristen James on November 17, 2023 at 10:20 am

      thank you for sharing your story Kathleen! we get to rejoice knowing they are in Heaven and we get to see them again!

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