Why are you waiting?

Have you ever had a feeling to do something, and your mind says you aren’t ready? Wait until you have more money saved, wait until you are mentally or physically in a better place. Wait until your kids are older. Wait until you finished a project before you start. Whatever your situation, have you wanted to do something, but you wait and dream on the sidelines? Maybe you see that dream via social media or TV. Perhaps walking into a store, you see your goal everywhere, and you are just waiting.  

Why are you waiting?  

Self Reflection has made me answer this question for myself.  

I wait until I am in a better place in all areas before I do something. I waste so much precious, valuable time waiting. I want to see someone and won’t until I lose ten more pounds. I wait. That day never comes because I am sitting around, waiting for the right moment.  

We are not promised tomorrow. We never know when our time on earth is over, yet I wait for the perfect conditions to start. I blame my depression, anxiety, fear, lack of resources, my kids being away, my reflection of not having my ducks in a row, and every excuse not to start things. I even do this with Love, not allowing Love back into my life. I don’t want to start another relationship of getting to know someone because I do not want to move towards that possibility of hurt again.  

My 15-year-old son wanted to move back to Tennessee, to go to school with his childhood friends, and I wanted him to wait. There were too many obstacles to jump through to make it happen, and frankly, I would miss him too much. I prayed for months over this, and I got the answer that there would never be a perfect time. No more waiting, let him go! Let him jump, let him take that leap of faith that God has placed in his young heart. I have learned unconditional Love through this process and that there will never be a perfect time to do anything. Why was I waiting? I was prolonging the inevitable because I didn’t want the pain of parting ways. I waited.  

Letting my son go has been the hardest thing I have ever been through, but I am proud of Us and our Love for each other. I am not over the longing to see him every day, but I know he is happy. That makes it easier for me to move on past the pain.  

Waiting Is A Struggle For Me  

I did this through my Divorce. I waited for my ex to change, to come to his senses, I would sit there and wait. I wasted so much time waiting on something that he would never do. I look back and want to scream at myself to get up and move on!   

Are you waiting? A moment of waiting is a moment of wasted time and potentially a brand new life—a brand new change of circumstances.  

I waited to clean out boxes in my garage because of the pain of going through old memories, and I wasn’t ready. One day I thought, if not today, when? I went into the garage and started throwing away boxes of items I was holding onto, see there I was waiting again, waiting for the perfect day to do something. I could come up with every excuse; my body hurt, I didn’t sleep last night, I was not mentally prepared to see items from a hurtful past, It was too hot outside, and it was overwhelming. I had a pep talk with myself and God; I asked God to get me moving and meet me in my struggles. Help me to move God – that has been my prayer all summer. He has done more than I prayed. He has taken me to places mentally; I couldn’t do myself.  

I did the same thing in a 3-year relationship that ended during the pandemic. Waiting around for my boyfriend to decide he wanted me, waiting around for him to change, or talking to me, or communicating, waiting for things to change—waiting for him to ask me to come to see him—waiting for him to want to show me off—waiting for different. I had convinced myself that I could ignore the signs because he is such a good guy; I could wait a couple more months. I was waiting around wasting away. I remained in a holding pattern and paused my life for the chance moment he would make a drastic declaration of his Love for me with a ring or commitment. I was waiting for him to show up and surprise me as he did in my twenties, waiting for something that wasn’t going to happen.  

Inside a church with my friend Mike we prayed, lighting candles and begging God to take this Man away from my heart, begging God to help me not wait around another second. God gave me the strength I asked him to provide me. I was pleading once again as I did when my marriage ended—begging God to remove all my hurts, from my son leaving to another failed relationship that I didn’t want to part ways, I just wanted to wait until he came around.  

There is no gain in waiting around unless you are waiting on God! I want to encourage you not to waste another moment waiting for someone, something, a situation to change – get up and move! Not physically move your location but move your circumstances and do something different from what you are doing right now. Mentally move!! Stop waiting!  

No one is ever ready to do hard things, challenging things. There is no such thing as being prepared! We only have now. Right Now!  

Now is as right as any time to stop waiting = get up and move! 

Taylor Morgan

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